Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Be your own damn #wcw

I love social media.

I think it's a great innovation that allows us to connect in ways and at speeds that we previously never had. We can share ideas, dreams, goals, and causes in just a millisecond. With the push of a button, it's out there, for all of us to see, and read, and even translate to any language we wish.

Social media gets a bad rap. But social media, like money, like guns, is a tool. It is only allowed to damage that individuals allow. 

So no, this isn't a social media bash.

I want to talk about you. You and what you do for these like and thumbs ups, the retweets and reblogs. I've seen some of us go to great lengths to keep a captivated audience; baring it all ( just to get a virtual button pushed reflecting the approval of people who may or may not know you), saying the controversial thing ( not because you believe it, but because it grabs the attention of others), and the like.

I get it. It's nice to be noticed. It's nice to be appreciated. It's nice to feel wanted. But what happens when everything you do is just for the likes and the thumbs up? What happens? You start to lose yourself, becoming a fiend for followers, becoming a slave for social media.

This isn't really about social media acknowledgement exclusively. 

This is about a mindset. This is about your mindset.

This about looking at all of our behaviors and asking why we do what we do.

This is about loving yourself more than you love the approval of people who, at the end of the day, you may never get to meet, who don't and probably won't matter, and whose approval really means nothing next to your own self approval.

This is about loosing this pity party mentality that plagues us as women if we aren't noticed or acknowledged. 

You don't need to be acknowledged to feel important within yourself. You simply don't. 

Want me to prove it? What happens at night when you're away from your computer and your phone is off? You still breathe, right? Your heart still beats, right? You're still alive right?

Right. See, you don't need the approval of social media users to live.

So why go through your days if you do?

1) Step away from the social media
Seriously. Take a break. A day. A week. Whatever you need to clear your mind from the desire for likes. Delete the app from your phone. Do what you've got to to place distance from yourself and social media.

2) Stop wait for someone else to notice you and notice yourself. 
If you know how great you are, it won't matter what anyone else has to say, or like, or dislike for that matter. 

3) Appreciate yourself. 
I mean really, appreciate yourself. Acknowledge who you are. You are important, but you have to believe that in order to receive that.

4) Focus on stuff that matters.
Think about the goals you have accomplished. Think about the dreams you still have. Write it down. Write them all down. Now put your goals and you achievements somewhere you can see them. Check them as you achieve them.

5) Do something in the real world for you.
Go out. Take yourself on a date. Take your own spdamn self to dinner. Buy yourself that thing that you've been waiting for man to get you. Get yourself some flowers. Get yourself that massage. 

Stop waiting for some Prince Charming who doesn't exist to appear before you feel that you can enjoy your life. (This isn't a man bash, but seriously, babe, stop waiting for him, whomever 'he' is, before you can be happy. Be who you need for yourself. Be your own cheerleader. Be your own hero. Be your own damn #WomanCrushWednesday