Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Why Your Valentine's Day FOMO is Total BS

Let me start by saying that I am a huge fan of Valentine's Day. Being born on a day that celebrates love surrounded by huge red hearts, teddy bears, roses, and other typical romantic symbols, I believe, have has a huge affect on me. I love romantic comedies, love letters, and all types of sweet romantic gestures.

That being said; I believe Valentine's Day is bulls#!t. 

Let me clarify: I believe that the crap, the expensive dinners, the overpriced gifts, all of the hooplah surrounding VDay is BS. 

For guys, there's all this pressure to plan the ideal date, whether from your lady or from society. Right now there is a guy who is spending his last or putting himself into debt to try to make the optimal Valentine's experience for his boo. And that is complete BS.

For girls, we're all bent out of shape if we don't have a date or plans or didn't receive candy or some jewelry. Right now, some sappy girl who is lamenting the fact that she doesn't, and probably won't, have a boyfriend or mysterious lover come whisk her off of her feet by Sunday evening. You know her; she's the scoffing at you because you may have a date or some type of get together with your significant other, she's the one who takes to social media and complains about her lack of a date or bashes all men because currently, she's getting attention from none. And that is BS!

What Valentine Day does is reveal larger problems within our societal make up. The major reason people don't like Valentine's Day: it reveals that they are single, which is looked upon more like a disease than a state of being. Think about it: Our mothers and friends and even random acquaintances try to hook us up, God forbid we get invited to some reunion and we aren't dating anyone, and how many dating sites, groups and apps are out there. It's like singleness is the plague and the only cure for it is to hook up with the first person who can stand you.

The second reason why people don't like VDay: It reveals that they are in bad relationships. We've bought into the "find another person so you can be complete" lie and now we feel stuck in a relationship we had no business being in simply because we were afraid of being single. 


And while none of that is the fault of Valentine's Day, a lot of that manifests itself on the holiday. 

So here's how to successfully survive the VDay:

First of all, remember that Valentine's Day is just another day. I promise, you will live beyond not having a French dinner or romantic getaway. No one has to go broke, no one has to show anyone else up, no one has to feel like there is no love in their lives. 

Secondly, Valentine's Day is not the scale by which you measure the romance in your life. If Valentine's Day is the only day that you experience any type of sweet romantic or loving gestures from your significant other, it's time to find another significant other. A relationship full of kindness and compassion is highlighted and not cemented by Valentines and sweet nothings. If this person your with only shows that on special occasions (and not in the every day mundane romance that may not be as good as fiction but it's real and authentic and you can count on it), it's time to call it quits. 

Thirdly, Valentine's Day, when kept in proper perspective, is actually a fun day.  VDay is a chance, not to exhibit all of the love, but highlight the love you've been sharing with this person over time. It's a chance to reflect on good (and maybe some not so good) moments that have made this relationship special.

And if you're single on Valentine's Day, it's Okay! Sure, it's nice to receive flowers at work or a card in the mail, but none of those things or gestures define your worth as a person. You are not defined by the attention (or lack there of) someone gives you. So what, you're single on Valentine's Day, big deal! Send yourself some flowers, or send them to someone else. Take yourself to a fancy dinner. Do something constructive. Or you can take the attitude that I used to and buy yourself a box of chocolates and  move on with life.

Whatever you choose to do, whether you're in a relationship or as single as they come, don't fall for the BS.

Happy Valentine's Day!