My C-Section Experience & National Cesarean Month

April is National Cesarean Month, which, to be completely honest, was news to me. Seems like we have a month for everything, but this one I won't complain about because it is a very important issue that is now near and dear to my heart.

Let me start by saying that I had the best pregnancy. No health concerns, didn't gain a lot of weight, slept well, ate well, and barring some wicked heartburn, it was a beautiful time.

But birth was rough. 

I'm going to cut to the chase: After hours waiting to dilate, one failed epidural during 2.5 hours of pushing, my body went through the ringer. Finally, our medical team suggested a c-section, and it felt like time stop.

I spent the majority of 40 weeks of pregnancy doing as many the things I needed to prep my body for birth. The one thing I dreaded most of all was having a C-Section. I witnessed many women, including a handful of friends have them, but it was relatively rare, especially in my family. In fact, of my immediate family, none of us had c-sections. Not one.

But when it was presented to me on November 22nd of 2020, it was what I needed. The pain I was in, the exhaustion, the worry that my baby needed help all eclipsed my fear of having a c-section. They wheeled me back to the operating room and our little girl came into the world, healthy and unharmed.

This should have been where I felt relief, but honestly, it wasn't.

Let me be transparent: I felt like a failure. I felt like I quit when I shouldn’t have. I felt like I should have done more or done better. I never wanted a c section. They were actually one of my personal worst fears. 

I was quickly reminded of the the truth: cesareans are necessary, and, in my case; LIFE SAVING. 

We all have plans on how things are “supposed” to go and how we want them to pan out. But live a while, you might be grateful for that one thing you deem as a fear. 

I know I am.