We have all experienced it, the cruelty lashed out from one woman to another simply because the first woman was jealous of the other.
I guess it was my turn this week.
If you follow me on Snapchat, you will have heard my semi rant/ semi plea about jealousy. If not, here's the short version:
I was underhandedly shaded by someone I actually looked up to this week. This person took to their social media and proceeded to throw shade about a recent step I made in my just born business. Now, like I said, I look up to this person, a lot. This person is a personal inspiration of mine and I made sure to tell them that.
So when this person acted this way, and on a very social platform, I took a step back. I wondered "Did I do something wrong? Something to offend them? Something I can try to fix?"
Immediately, the thought of apology was stopped by a small voice that steadily and sternly said "They are jealous."
I argued back, "There is no way! This person CANNOT be jealous of me. They have the absolute LIFE right now. They are killing it in their own business, they are amazing looking, they get to do all the things I can only dream about right now. How could they be jealous of me?"
The voice persisted, never getting any louder, but simply repeated "They are jealous."
Then, as if a movie reel had started to play, I got a play by play view of this person's actions toward me. It was like a light had turned on on and the dimmer switch was slowly raised. Oh but how it all became very clear.
So what did I do? I could have retaliated. I could have clapped back. I could have cursed them out. I could have unfollowed them wherever I do, making a physical withdrawal of my support of them. I could have acted very crass and tacky, just like they did.
But I was reminded of a quote said by another one of my inspirations, Michelle Obama, this year at the DNC here in Philadelphia. "When someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you don't stoop to their level. Our motto is: When they go low, we go high."
So, what did I do? I went high. And I am kind of proud of myself. So, to share in this little victory, I want to share with you steps on stepping out of the aim of jealousy.
1) Say nothing. Why? Because there isn't anything that can be said. Jealousy is a nonsensical emotion that eats a person alive from the inside out. There is nothing that can be done from where I am, which is outside of that person, all of the work that will help them deal with their jealousy must be done from within.
2) Keep living. The time I spend obsessing over what I did to make this person act this way towards me could have been productive time I used to better myself. Because, as I said above, there is nothing you can do about someone else's jealousy.
3) Use jealousy as an affirmation of the right direction. I may seem a bit dark, but you really should take jealousy as a compliment. People are only jealous of people whom they perceive as having or doing something better than themselves. Take it as a huge compliment and realize that you must be doing something right.
4) Don't dwell on it. Like I said above, I could have used that time I spent thinking one ways to make it right to do something actually productive. Plus, negative emotions like jealousy only feed off of more negativity. As my pastor says, the dog you feed is the dog that wins the fight. And I refuse to let negativity of any kind have reign over the potential packed life I am stepping into. And I encourage you to do the same.
Starve out the negativity and replace it with a deep of positivity, beauty and gratitude. After all, all jealousy is the ability to see others blessing and the inability to appreciate your own. And if you're reading this, you have a blessed life. You are gifted, talented, and deeply loved.
For more inspiration I went to my favorite site for inspirational quotes, Pinterest, to look for some quotes on the sheer stupidity that is jealousy.
I found over 30. And they are awesome, so I had to share them with my awesome tribe, you! Let these inspire you to avoid the poison of jealousy and thrust you into a life of gratitude and peace. Enjoy!
Which quote was your fave? Comment below and feel free to share!