Last night was one of the WORST nights with Emmie since we brought her home. Typically, Emmie is an amazing sleeper,waking up maybe 2 or 3 times a night to have her pacifier put back in, and then she goes right back to sleep.
Not last night. It seems like she was up every 45 minutes to an hour. I was up with her from 1am to almost 2 and then again from 2:45am to almost 4:15am. I tried everything I knew to get this kid back to sleep: rocked her, swayed with her, changed her diaper, walked her around, pat her back, took off the swaddle, put the swaddle back on, check to see if she was teething, check to see if she was cold or hot, nothing worked.
This coming off the heels of the previous night where she woke up at 4 am & wouldn’t go back down again until 6.
This coming off of a week of bad sleep for Emmie.
Needless to say I am tired. What’s worse is I have this weird weighty guilt hanging over me because I couldn’t figure out what my baby needed in the moment. I feel useless & defeated on top of being tired.
Yet when I was recently talking to someone close, they asked me a question but while I was answering it, completely yelled “Emerie!” over me. This gave me pause. This is how so many moms get treated: we barely get acknowledged bc everyone checks on the baby, but who checks on the mama.
I don’t have to tell you that I love this kid. I don’t have to tell you that I am grateful for a happy, healthy baby. & you don’t have to tell me that some people have it worse or to be glad I have a partner who does A LOT or that what I’m talking about is nothing to complain about.
May is #mentalhealthawarenessmonth and this week is #maternalmentalhealthweek Did you know 1 in 5 moms will develop a mental health condition during pregnancy or within the 1st year postpartum? I encourage you to check in on you mama friends & family.