Monday, August 22, 2016

8 Ways to know you don't have any home training

I recently realized that most of the things that irritate me about grown guys all boils down to this concept of something my people call Home Training.

For those who don't know, "home training" is not a workout plan you can do from your own living room. Home Training, in essence, is the combination of the way you were raised in addition to manners and common sense. Home Training means you not only know basic behavioral rules and regulations of being a good human, you live them out in your daily life.

So, if someone says that you have no Home Training, you've committed some social faux pas and need to reevaluate your over all value as a human being.

Here are 8 ways to know that you don't have any home training

You stand in the middle of walkways and sidewalks while talking instead of stepping aside out of the flow of foot traffic
This drives me up a wall to no end. You're standing there, in the middle of the walkway, either having a conversation or playing on your phone or even looking around aimlessly looking for your life's purpose. I don't care what you're doing, have the common courtesy to step out of the way. And, for all that is holy, don't turn around and look at me like I'm in the wrong when I walk up to you and expect you to move. You're the one in the way. Be aware and pay attention.

You leave the seat up
Guys you are notorious for this. If you live or work or are going to be anywhere near any women when you're using the bathroom, please be a good human and put the doggone seat back down once you're finished your business in the bathroom. Again, common courtesy.

You frequently forget to flush
I don't get this one at all. Dude, you just do your business and then just walk away? Like, no flush? No consideration of flushing? You're not a human, you're a barnyard animal. Get yo' life, you gross.

Not washing your hands
You're gross and your mama didn't train you right. How dare you just finish your business, and not wash your bacteria infested hands? Nasty. Again, you are a barnyard animal, not a person. People use soap.

Talking loud on the phone in public
Because we all want to hear your weekend plans or that you're not into that girl or whatever douchey goodness your'e laughing so loudly about. Not. Please stop this.

You don't hold doors
I once watched a young guy, tall and handsome, come walking into Starbucks but he instantly became unattractive as he nearly knocked a woman over who was coming out of the door, carrying multiple drinks. He, at the same time, didn't even attempt to hold the door for her. Like dude, chivalry or not, when you see someone struggling with their hands full, a good human holds the door. You didn't. So what does that make you?

You sneeze/cough/yawn without covering your mouth
Nothing says no home training like expelling all of your body germs into the open. Just covering your mouth shows that you have some social graces. Please, do this.

Staring. Is. So. Rude. Period. And it makes you look like a total creep.
So don't do it.

You put your feet up on armrest or in seats
In case you missed it, your feet go on the floor and your bum goes in the seat. If this doesn't make sense to you, think of this: how would you feel if you went to go sit some place but the seat was covered with dirt or mud from someone else's gross feet being in the seat. That would really be annoying right? Then don't do that to other people. 

You leave your trash all over tables in public places
What do you think this is brush? You leave a full table of crumbs, wrappers, and your paper coffee cup all over the cafe tables as if someone is just supposed to come behind you and clean up your messes. I'm sorry, maharaja, this isn't that kind of party. Clean up after yourself like your mom trained you right, please.

Thats my #nohometraining list. What's on yours? Comment below!