Thursday, November 3, 2016

4 Reasons Being a Lady will always Beat Being a Bad B!tch

If you ever make the mistake of calling me a female(don't worry, I won't get too mad), you may hear me correct you by saying "I'm a lady. I was born a female, but I work hard to be a lady." It may not mean anything to you, but to me, it means a lot. During much of my formative years I was taught the ways of the "lady", that not only was she poised and elegant, but that she was also thoughtful, kind, and considerate.

A lady was not merely one who dressed the part (after all, you could put a Chanel suit and pearls on a gorilla, but eventually the gorilla will still go back to its gorilla ways), but a lady was one who had integrity. Integrity, coming from the word integer, meaning a whole number, one your could count upon (umph).

A lady carries herself with class, but she was also one who could be counted on. She helped her community, she mentored those younger than her and allowed herself to be mentored by those wiser than herself. She was demure, no matter what she wore, and just by her presence alone, she called out to the best parts of others.

You can see why that would be appealing to me. Who wouldn't want to be that kind of woman?

Well, sadly, there are many who don't see any of that as valuable. Oh, it sounds good, but when it comes down to it, many opt to be Instagram worthy over having Integrity.

There is nothing wrong with carrying yourself with feminine dignity, class, and elegance. While the trend right now slumps the value of a woman to her physical attributes, a lady (who has never be encumbered by trends) rises above what is on trend right now, opting for eternal values of sophistication and self worth.

Being a lady will always beat out being a bad bitch any day. Here's why:

Being a Lady makes you beyond basic
Do you want to be viewed as fast food or soul food? Think about the prep of both. One happens in a home's kitchen, ingredients specially chosen and prepared lovingly with time and effort. One is prepared in a sterile kitchen assembly line with basic ingredients and is prepared quickly to meet the impatient demands of the consumer. 9 times out of 10, any woman with good sense would say soul food. Yet we dress and talk and conform to the ways of fast food.

A lady is always soul food. She takes care of herself. She trusts herself. She is comfortable in her own skin, and she doesn't need to be naked or promiscuous to prove it. In fact, she doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. She knows herself and respects herself, and that forces you to respect her.

She has character in a time that is more focused on image. That type of woman will never be basic.

Being a Lady makes you stand out
On the topic of food, it is so easy to just be viewed as just a piece of meat. And, unfortunately, too many of us play into those appetites.

We over sexualize ourselves. We wear things that are too tight, too short, We sleep with too many people just to prove that we are "sexually liberated", we brag about it, and then wonder why we get viewed like a piece of meat.

I know this is unpopular to say, and I AM NOT BLAMING ANYONE FOR ANY POOR TREATMENT THEY MAY HAVE RECEIVED FROM THE OPPOSITE GENDER (they are accountable for their own actions) nor am I talking about extreme incidents.

What I am saying that yes, while you are free to walk down the street in only lingerie and fishnets, don't expect to be taken seriously. Just because everyone is doing something, doesn't mean you have to. (I know, I sound like an old mother, but its very true!) Just because everyone else is dressing in a mesh bodysuit and heels, leaving nothing to the imagination, doesn't mean you have to.

You don't. In fact, you shouldn't.

A lady has something antiquated but essential, its called standards. She views her body as something so special, she reserves it for the person she is intimate with, not the whole world. She

She doesn't lower her standards, ever. Not for Instagram. Not for a man (or woman). And definitely not for attention. She is validated in her faith and within herself.

She doesn't need your attention to be validated, at all.

In a world full of Amber Roses and Blac Chynas, it is still possible, and I would say a damn necessity, that someone be the Michelle Obama. In a world full of Kylie Jenners, someone must be the Amandla Stenberg.

Being a Lady gets you really noticed
As far as dating, this one is a biggie. When you walk with integrity, people notice. As you can imagine, while everyone else is running around trying to out-twerk each other, here you come, carrying yourself with self respect and dignity, you will definitely stand out.

Warning: this will come with both positive and negative effects. Some may call you stuck up or a holy roller behind your back, which is fine because people can only talk behind your back when your ahead of them. After all, dogs only bark at cars that are moving (let she who hath an ear, let her hear.)

Being a Lady wins in the end
Believe it or not, guys like mystery. At least the ones you want to build a relationship with. Those are called gentlemen. Yes, they still exist, and they won't ever ask you to lower your standards. Only a boy will ask that of you. Nope, a gentleman is not intimidated by your standards, because he has his own. In fact, he will rise to meet yours. He will find your standards refreshing and exciting. He will value you and respect you for having them. After all, a gentleman recognizes that a lady is a lifetime investment while a bad bitch is only a bill.

There are many more reasons why being a lady will always beat being a bad bitch. My hope is that the real ladies please stand up and rock that ladylike nature that would make Coco, Audrey, and Ella proud.