Bad With Money...

My mom gave me the best compliment recently. She and I were talking about how I used to save up when I was a kid and how I walked away from my old job to write full time, and she said "Yeah, you're pretty good with money."

The statement gave me serious pause. I didn't know that I was "good with money". I grew up having a lovely childhood. My mom managed to create a great life for us practically on her own. I did know how things actually were until middle school when I moved in with my grandmother. Suddenly I was surrounded by the children of the white, educated, and affluent. Two parent homes where both parents were successful was something I only saw on the Cosby show, but in the suburb where I was shipped to, it was everywhere.

I remember the year that the chunky Tiffany & Co. silver heart bracelets came out, almost immediately after the holiday season, it felt like all of the girls had one.

And that little toggle bracelet made me instantly aware that I was financially out of my league.

Could I have asked for one? Sure. My dad was making bank, living in a suburban home with his new wife and my younger siblings (who would never know a day of struggle, and of that, I was actually grateful. We will talk about my interesting family dynamics another time). My dad would have gotten it for me. My mom would have at least tried.

But I didn't want them to buy it for me. I wanted to buy it for myself. As a teen, I already had it within me that I wanted to get things on my own. Why? Because while my wealthier counterparts would easily get what they wanted from their parents, all they could do was say their parents helped them. I wanted to point to my own and say that I got it for myself.

And that drive for my own lead to my secret, not so secret, desire to understand money.

The way I have been learning how to be good with money? A podcast called Bad With Money by comedian and writer Gaby Dunn.

I first heard Gaby on Refinery29's Strong Opinions Loosely Held podcast discussing her article "The Sad Economics of Internet Fame" (it's a great read, y'all should check it out) and heard that show's host, Elisa Kreisinger, talk briefly about Gaby's show, Bad With Money. After reading Gaby's article and hearing how she truthfully discussed money and being "internet famous", I felt like I had to listen to her podcast.

So, I took a listen. I listened to another, and then another.

In fact, I took a few days to binge listen to the podcast like some money info crazed girl. In fact, that is exactly what I did. Gaby's transparency is honestly refreshing and helpful. She asks the "stupid questions" for I won't feel stupid asking. She opens up about her family history and how her upbringing directly impacted her view on money. She even reads some of her bank statements and records calls to her financial institutions. She talks to others that are both good and bad with money, including financial experts, freelancers, comedians, activists, and everyone in between, all talking as candidly about their money concerns  and how those are interwoven into politics, ethnicity, oppression, gender and gender identity, class, and every day life.

And listening to Gaby has honestly helped. Because of this podcast I actually started contributing more to my savings. Because of this podcast I have been more ready to discuss finances with others, removing the stigma and seeing it for what it is, a tool to be used wisely, not a think to love or hate. Because of this podcast, I have dropped the fear of sharing my writing rate with people  because I thought they would judge me. Because of this podcast I checked my credit and noted some things that didn't look right. Once I did, my credit score literally jumped 40 points. (WHAAAAAAAAAATTTT?????)

I say all of that to say Bad With Money has actually helped me in a lot of ways and I REALLY recommend it.

And I hope the podcast continues.

Thanks Gaby.