Life is too short: A Word on Cardi And Offset

Relationships are tricky and confusing. Add having a new baby, and the complication expounds. Add the complication of being blossoming musicians and it gets even more complicated.

Thus is the swirl of complications surrounding rappers Cardi B and Offset of Migos find themselves. I typically don't shape my mouth (or in this case fingers) to talk about anyone's relationships. And I will not suffice to say the following:

In case you haven’t heard, Cardi has left Offset for many reasons but the main one is the level and frequency of affairs happening. Mind you, they have a 6-month-old child and were married. When Cardi announced the divorce, Offset blamed the internet by saying “Y’all won” as if the internet and not him frequently cheating in their very new marriage was the cause of the divorce.

Since the divorce, many a rapper has come to Offset’s defense, including Lil "Living My Best Life" (the irresponsibility anthem of the year) saying the following on social media:

"Life is too short to be leaving niggaz over cheatin'."

This quote was liked by a slew of other rappers including T.I., another habitual marital infidel, who echoed his agreement with the hashtag #TakeOffsetBack.

I firmly disagree with this stance. Cheating is not something one has no control over. Infidelity is a choice. And to be willing to engage in such a selfish act as cheating, particularly on your new wife who only mere months ago gave birth to your daughter, was a choice. Doing it more than once in very public ways we’re all choices. Bad choices, but still choices nonetheless.

Choices have consequences. A consequence of infidelity is divorce. Offset, while young, is still an adult enough to realize this, same as T.I. and anyone else who may or may not be a celebrity but thinks that cheating is not grounds for leaving a relationship.

I know this because should there even have been the hint of infidelity from Cardi, or Tiny or the woman in this same position, these same men would have been ready to fight, as T.I. himself chose to do against none other than Floyd Mayweather for attempting to dance with his wife, Tiny. These same men on the #TakeOffSet back are the same men who would call these women everything under the sun but a child of God to embarrass and humiliate her in public and probably on social.

What makes it different in this case? Misogyny. The misogyny that says a man can act like an animal with no control over himself and his woman is simply to forgive him and move on. The misogyny that says she is not a person like he is and therefore has no right to be hurt or upset enough to abandon a faulty relationship over the offense.

Did Offset once consider Cardi while engaging in infidelity? Even now, as he unloads and implodes across social media on how much he misses her, did he ever issue an apology, say that he made a mistake, acknowledge that he was even sorry, or even acknowledge that he did severe emotional and mental harm on his own wife and the mother of his new baby? That I have not seen nor heard. 

I think Cardi did the right thing for her own mental and emotional wellbeing. According to these men, life is too short for leaving someone over being unfaithful. But do you know what life is really too short for:

- Life is too short to be cheated on.

- Life is too short to be frequently cheated on.

- Life is too short to be humiliated every time these infidelities make it to Page 6, let alone your family and friends.

- Life is too short to be attempting to raise a family with a man who is not committed to you.

- Life is too short to suffer the mental, emotional, spiritual abuse that comes with this sort of behavior

- Life is too short to be with a man who won’t take personal responsibility for his own actions.

As a divorcé, I am never excited for divorce. It breaks my heart. 

But no one deserves to be treated like this and I pray Offset seeks therapy while Cardi seeks healing.