The Good Side of the R Kelly Documentary

A day of reckoning has finally arrived for one Robert Kelly. Once considered a king of R&B, the singer's past of over 20 years of sexually abusing underage girls has been outed by the recent Lifetime docuseries, Surviving R. Kelly.

Social media and the blogosphere have lit up like Christmas trees with think pieces, and a flood of opinions from Kelly sentimentalists to people like me who have been saying R Kelly has always been a problem.

But this discussion we are about to have is not about Robert Kelly himself, or even a deeper view of the Lifetime docuseries that outed his behavior. It's not even about the lives that have been impacted by the repulsive behaviors of R Kelly or the industry that covered its eyes while it was going on.

Today, I want to shed light on different elements we see emerging. Positive ones. That's right, there are good, even great elements of the R Kelly discussion that are already helping and blessing so many discussions. Here are 5 of those elements:

These stories are FINALLY coming out
It took over 20 years but the stories are finally emerging. Many of us (i.e. ME) have been hollering from the rooftops about the creepy nature of R Kelly and his music.

• He called himself the Pied Piper of R&B (and the pied piper in story tales would lure children away from their parents. Umm hello guys!)
• He wrote the song Age ain't nothing but a Number, a song performed by R&B darling, Aaliyah, whom R Kelly married when she was 15!
• The songs Seems Like You're Ready, Bump n Grind, and Your Body's Calling for Me and others have very creepy, rapey vibes, you guys. (P.S.: Do Not under any circumstances go listen to listen to them and give that pedophile any more streams. Instead, just Google the lyrics.)

People are opening up about their problematic family members
This documentary has given people the courage to not only voice their opinions but to share their own stories. Especially in the Black Community, where those stories of the creepy uncle or that strange neighbor would be swept undealt under the rug, leaving a wake of unchecked trauma and potentially breeding more abusers.

People are sharing these stories. People are asking questions. People are directly challenging a culture of silence and shame with light and truth. And people are getting free in the process.

Consent is center stage
If #MeToo ushered in the discussion of consent, this docuseries put consent in center stage and cut on the spotlight.

Children cannot consent. Yes, that means a 17-year-old girl who is being pressured by a grown man, too. And there are a lot of people right now reexamining their sexual interactions and behaviors in a way that they did not have to previously. And that is a good thing.

Parents are talking to their children and teens more about abuse
After watching the documentary, one of the obvious themes that presented itself is how parents frequently failed their daughters. A lot of very obvious ploys that aware and involved parents would have noticed, the parents involved in the R Kelly sex ring missed, for whatever reason.

The trope of the "fast tailed girl" is being slain
For those who are unfamiliar with this trope, it is in essence, a teenage girl who is sexually active "too soon", and it is usually used by men and their misogynistic brainwashed female counterparts. This trope puts the blame of the abuse of these girls by older men on the girls themselves (and not on the men who are clearly grown and should be held accountable for their actions, even more so than children). Note: There is no male equivalent, i.e. "fast tailed boy" because only girls are demonized for the abuse they receive.

The truth is there is no girl, tailed or not, who is fast enough to catch a man who isn't already a pedophile. Period.

Misogyny is being checked
Men (and brainwashed women) who are defending R Kelly are finding those arguments being hard pressed because they are being met with common sense. There is a culture of protection of these men, a culture that even glorifies this behavior in the same vein as it glorifies "pimp" or "player" culture, all of which are steeped in misogyny. And all of which are being called out.

This is also HUGE wake-up call for parents, not only of girls (who can warn their girls what to look for but also empower them and believe them should anything happen to them) but also for boys (for the aforementioned reason as well as so they themselves do not become abusers of girls). We are witnessing a culture shift that moves blame from what the girls were wearing, how they were behaving, if they themselves were flirting or not, and moves it to the perpetrators of these harmful and damaging actions themselves.

We are witnessing the end of protectionist culture where men like R Kelly will be forced to answer for their actions, and there isn't a bop or tune they can sing to cover it up. It's not just time to #MuteRKelly, but the social and cultural norms that created and supported him and abusers like him.